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June 24, 2006

Toilet Humour

June 22, 2006

End of First Semester

The semester has ended for me, and now i have to pay my second semester tuition fees by the end of this month.

But first a run through of whats been happening with your favourite sector.

Its been a whopping 20 days of absence. The longest period of absence ever in secfive.org's history. This correlates with my end of semester activities which has been challenging and work-filled. I dont like to call it stress because stress to me is something that is undesirable, negative and well just bad really. My studies are definitely not undesirable, negative or bad in anyway. So stress is abit of an overkill word to use. But eitherway, i've been surviving on lots and lots of V which is this little energy drink down here.

Drinking as much as 1 litre a day of this green thing. Digressing from the point, i notice alot of green things are good in life, V, weed, nature, the US dollar. But anyways, 1 litre might sound like its alot, but infact its just 2 glass bottles of the 500ml varieties that you see in the image above. Also because of the long work hours and my weird sleeping habits, i've begun to use the stopwatch function on my handphone to clock my hours awake, so i can tell myself whether my body needs sleep or not as the mind is fleeting. My sleep cycles are usually like this during projects; being awake on caffeine for 24 to 30 hours and then taking a 10 to 12 hour sleep before repeating the cycle. On not so busy days, i'll just have my usual 15 hour awake and 8 to 10 hour sleep cycles. These cycles do not follow the pattern of the days, so i can very well wake up at 3am or 3pm, 10pm or 10am. Time is independant of day cycles afterall. I dont see why everyone needs to live a 8am awake, 9pm sleep cycle. Convention as i have deplored many times, is nonsensical.

And i use all this time and energy (from energy drinks no less, \o/) , to work on my architectural projects which has included much more drawings now (made with my 30 dollar drafting pens and 60cm rulers), and much less graphics and pictures. Perhaps when i have enough free time or enough ego one day, i'll update all my new drawings and projects into my online portfolio, of which i have also made an A1 and A3 version for coursesubmission. Working with A1 stock paper, i must say, is a very expensive and cumbersome process.

Ah, money... the quintessential basic unit of anything good in the human society. I know conversely, the cliche claim is that money cant buy happiness and love and whatever. But that is just too idealistic for the average 20 something. Money IS happiness right now. Money is to me, the opportunity to have an education that i knowingly deserve. Money is to me, the freedom to experience life in the fullest. Although arguably, i'd say the lack of money and the subsequent persuit of it also results in a full life. But more money is always better than a lack of money. There is the question of having enough money, and more than enough. But when you simply dont have enough of it, the ends in life just dont meet very well.

But, the keen reader may ask; 'What makes you different from the rest of the billions of people on earth who too are lamenting on their objectable financial situations', and my answer would be; What is different for me, is that it is a matter of what people deserve, for their competency and ability. Those competent enough to be leaders, innovators and instruments of positive change in the human society, should therefore accordedly be given the basic opportunities to archieve their potential, regardless of their financial background, race or other superficialities.

So, therefore I complain about the lack of meritocracy in our world and societies, more than my own state of being.

Just because the world is not meritocratic, and is what it is ; it does not justify itself against what the world could be or possibly be. Accepting the shitty conditions of our present state is an excuse to not improve upon the world. It is accepting what has been given as status quo, and is not representative of the innate human nature of which we belong to. Understandbly it is human to want change, to hope for the better and to improve upon what is given. Seeing as to how we merely accept the status quo and conventions of the day, may we have lost that important human characteristic in persuit of the perfect society that we have been attempting to create ?

Which brings me back to my semester fee payments. If i dont pay my university AUD 10k by 31st of June, I very well might be packing my bags home by July, which is lamentable, having completed only 1/6th of my Degree in Design and 1/10th of my Degree in Architecture on my 'great journey' to make something out of my 3rd decade in life.

My mother seems to have dispossessed me as son and is refusing to pay my school fees, for her own very selfish reasons about the family situation with my dad. My dad seems to be in a financial bind and has not been very forthcoming about the fees. I've always had the impression that my education is not very important to him seeing as to how he started his own business without a degree from humble beginnings. Regardless, i've had less than stellar parents and have not come from a happy and conducive family background. I dont want to blame them, but fate is cruel to have given me a broken family and a damning conciousness of it. It would have been easier to accept if i was brought up a tad bit more stupid and a tad bit less intelligent and concious of my circumstances. No child or person wants to live knowing that he is the product of an unhappy marriage. It corrupts the sanctity of marriage and of family, all this hate, loathing and vengeance my mother has. But this is another topic, and not for today.

Eitherway, I Accept the challenges of life that Fate (or god if you will) has given me and i endeavor to triumph as has my predecessors. Human history is a list of victories of men against men and men against nature. If this bit of idealism will help me survive my hardships then so be it.

And to that end, i introduce to you, secfive's prayer for a happy future and life;

May we all live in a self induced state of faith to our own particular social constructs such that we may advance ourselves in the persuit of learning and simply being what we are and what we could be. Amen

June 04, 2006

Quote

I don't know. People always think that there has got to be a dark side to everyone, a closet with skeletons, demons under the bed. People think all kinds of things about one another. They feel compelled to make up fears and false assumptions about their closest friends. Truth is, I'll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candour.

... Tom Hanks