.. I built cardboard shelters out of leftover pc monitor boxes. I taped them together and put my stuff in it and slept in it.
I did it out of novelty and I found it amusing.
After a few days I got bored.
I guess the beds prepared by your parents are still the most comfortable ones.
"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will."—Abraham Lincoln
Thanks guys, you were the awesomest classmates.
I love it.
At school we have these special computer workstations in a special 'architectural laboratory'. So these arent any normal dodgy computers you see at the cybercafe.
They run all sorts of advanced modelling and drawing applications (maya, 3d studio max, the usual adobe suites and autocad are some examples) with genuine licenses and top of the line hardware to boot on 21+ inch lcd monitors.
Wow.. Licenses.. mmmm...
and look at the internet connection speed;
Ladies and gentlemen,
Can I have it like that?
Gwen Stefani: You got it like that
Can I have it like that?
Gwen Stefani: You got it like that
Mmmm~
During my travels in Singapore and Malaysia, as i mentioned earlier in another post i went to zouk, mos, lunabar, clarke quey among other various stuff i did in sg.
It was my first time in Zouk sg, despite having lived next to zouk at kim seng plaza for a year when i was in junior college. When i went there on Saturday night i saw the Taxi Driver Uncle;
... and on wednesday night (mambo or ladies night i believe), I saw the Hawker Center Aunty. No pics tho and it doesnt seem like shes a regular there (not that i would know).
So definately, zouk has gone down a few spots in my sg nightlife book and i dont feel like i need to explain anything at all here.
But yeh.. that was a huge turnoff. Sg clubbing is so boring. No smoking in there, everyone drinks from these ghey arse mixer juggs- nothing hard, and the girls are so socially isolated. No fun. MOS was much better, maybe because i went in as VIP but atleast the girls there are more social and no one seems to be above 40 in there, and they have a nice and convenient smoking room not like zouks where you have to sort of get yourself into some dodgy lane exit and be made to feel guilty with 50 other people puffing away outdoors and listening to shit like 'OMG I WAS THERE LOR, ARBUTHEN ARBUTHEN LIKE THAT HOR DONT COME? WAH LAO SO SCARY LOR' instead of the latest in trance and electronic.
Wanted to go to St James but my friends said might as well go to zouk or mos.
Meh-
I had a much better nightlife in Malaysia anyways. Singapore is just not a place for clubbing. The foods awesome, shoppings great, geylang is good. But clubbing ? mm~ everythings there except the atmosphere. You got the laser lights, the bar and the bartender, the djs and the music and the platforms and the rotating discballs and the people. But everyones doing everything like its a chore.
I mean what do you expect when you have the Taxi Driver Uncle and Hawker Center Aunty in there ?
I totally left this interesting part of my life out...
Just goes to show the poor level of attention and detail i give to secfive.org now.
What happened here was during November 2007, i stumbled upon the this game on Facebook called Warbook, which is a numerical rts game where you have your own kingdom and u compete with everyone else to make the biggest and most powerful kingdom.
(what the worlds largest and most powerful warbook kingdom looked like)So i played it here and there, i became so engrossed with it that i started scheming with Melvin against the (then:) current top group of people who were number 1 and took them down both ingame and through a public exposure of their systemic lying and cheats.
I played this game almost every waking hour of my life for the 1 month of holidays in melbourne leading upto the time i went to Bali. So i guess you can sort of call it a digital indulgence before my physical one started.
Anyways, i documented this entire process and toppled the existing group so called TPL, became the largest kingdom and then did a public kamikaze display worthy of World War II japanese banzai attacks, all made publicly in a long long momento slash manifesto in this forum :
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2618691293&topic=29347
It has been described ingame by many as 'epic' and 'legendary'.
*scoffs-lol*
and pretty much thats that. I think i totally stuffed it in the deepest part of my memory banks because after that month all i did was got myself filthy drunk almost every day while travelling across cities. Not to mention i knocked my head by literally walking into a wooden pole and gave my forehad a scar that nearly accompanied me to the Chinese New Year celebrations.
.. as we do the things we do the way clouds move the way they move.
It just struck me today that 2008 is a new year, and again a seemingly important one. Ahhh. I feel old : (
I've been traveling alot these days. In the past month i've been to Bali, KL, Penang, Ipoh, Brunei and now i'am in Singapore.
Planning to go to Kota Kinabalu to see a certain special friend. Then heading up to Penang to celebrate Chinese New Year there.
Me and my cuz in Ipoh, Malaysia
Activities last few days in Singapore :
Zouk
G-Land
Poker
Expensive food
Gena
Activities in Bali:
Full body Massage
Jiggy Jig
Facial
Steambath + Creambath
Driving at night in a manual Kijang in Denpasar without a license and without street lights
Being drunk on the airplane
Activities in Brunei:
Squash at the Pusat Skuasy
Trail hiking
Getting a forehad scar from NYE party
Christmas party
Icecream at Swansons
Poker
Currently developing a slight fever and sore throat. Also had food poisoning about a week ago in Brunei from eating DimSum at HuaHua in Kiulap. An entire morning of vomtting bright orangey goo followed by an entire afternoon of diarrhea and then a whole night of fever : (
Things i've learnt in the past few days :
PRC Girls in G-land are hot, and i like them better than Japanese girls now.
I also love Durex Play.
I miss .. Australian Chicken Parmagianna served with shiraz.
Having a car and being financially free in Singapore is Cool. (with capital C)
In Singapore, Lance is both a savior and a champion.
SK is Da Ge and "Da Ge Shi Dui De"
The days have seemingly been grinding down into a dull monotonous hum. Life has throttled down into a slow pace. 2 years in the running, i might have run out of steam. Maybe its the same 4 walls i see everyday when i go back, or the same route i take to school every morning or night. or the same places that i have been eating at. The same pitiful faces that i have seen again and again, day after day, and like me too, they seem to have lost a zest for life which gives me even more to worry, their faces delineated by worry. A lack of stimulus. The same grey clouds overcasted on an aerial canvas that feels as if, perhaps if you reached out enough and poked it, it would crack and break to reveal the hollowness of all that there actually is. The skies have lost their depth and they impose their weight on everything underneath.
Perhaps, I have i fallen into mediocrity, into some ominous ubiquitous state that i forever dread. It is deceiving, reality; both projected and perceived. It is haunting - it is like looking into the dark hollow eyes of a mishappen creature and glimpsing ourselves in reflection and perhaps realizing that this is all that there is, or could be.
So that is why, I need an epiphany.
A realization that there is more. An explosion of the id and ego, to regain and to conquer back and win the self.
I need to go back to the roots, to the source, to the fetal place where all is yellow and warm, where the skin is no longer the barrier between me and the world. But the world itself is part of me and barrier to everything else, beating with my heartbeat, flowing with my blood.
Which is why,
I have bought tickets to bali, kl and back home to Brunei !
... where the sand is white and warm with a golden hue; where coldness, dampness and greyness can never reach. a place closest to the sun, where colour with his good buddy light, exists as a melange of yellow, green and white. Yes, i admit with impunity, I want to go back home. I need to travel. My restless soul does not want to be ontained in this grey 4 walled mustard grey shell any longer. I need to go back and recharge my soul.
Thus perhaps i have found the epiphany i am looking for, the courage and strength to finish this last few miles before i can hold salvation and victory tightly in my cold bonewhite palms. I have found out that if i have a goal in mind, and salvation is at hand, that if i bear out this 1 and a half more months and finish strong;- then salvation will slide down my throat like an ice cold kirin beer at the end of a long hard day, with the celebration and feast that would follow. That the brighter i burn now, the greater the impression it will have upon the cold dark bland retinas of reminiscence.
Is this the epiphany i need ? or am i merely fooling myself ?
But I will choose for it to be an epiphany, and therefore it is one.
Descartes said " i think therefore i am",
i will add " i choose, therefore i become"
I have gotten the Epiphany i need and i thank you for being my audience, slave to my consciousness.
I have stopped smoking and am able to begin to truly enjoy some of the more beautiful things in life once again. I am thankful.
Smoking is bad. : (
The rest of the stuff is still good though : )
For the Death of me, I do not know why,
I find this picture, so interesting..
Hello my anonymous internet readers, mute and analogous, you are the one and the many.
I've been more or less incapacitated during the long duration of a month during which i've spent my many days in blissful ignorance. Interestingly i've not smoked a ciggarette for a month now and dont intend to pick up one anytime soon. Cigarette smoking is a digusting habit and a huge strain on the mind and body. And during the last semester which i did smoke, i generally felt like shit and so I've decided to replace cigarette smoking with swimming. Ah yes. swimming. Love swimming that and of course, pot.
Apart from that, i count my days of concious existence with subconcious explorations of my human mind. I've been dead and reborn many times, waking up everyday with the vigor of a freshborn baby. I guess overseas education and university life is generally more about experimentation, exploring and understanding the self, than learning and mastering the subject content, which truly in essence can never be fully understood - the complexities of our world and the acknowlegement of the 'self'. So rather than attempting to live and explore this subjugated materialistic and worldy existence, i do believe that in general we have failed to notice or pay heed to the intrinsic subconcious entitty that composes ourselves. This subjective and subconcious element that is in its own right, a world in itself. A world created by the sum accumulation of 'you'.
Religion fails in this essence as it attempts too much to bridge this existence with the worldly one. What our mainly abrahamic religion fails to underscore is that they have attempted to apply the innerworldly ideals with the incongruent physical world we live in and the results prove catastrophic.
These two worlds are related but are ultimately seperated; and anyone who attempts to bridge and blur them be they junkies or catholic priests, end up desecrating both.
Disneyland with the death penalty, lol !
In the name of god, lol !
What petty ideals.
Ah unpretentious writing, reflection and recollection can be such a therapeutic experience, and with that let me put my conciousness in the form of black against white in 0s and 1s regarding these recent months of spring and impending winter;
As you all might have known, i have been working independently as a soccer coordinator for a good buddy of mine called Lance, and the business has blossomed quite abit since February, and currently i earn enough to pay for my rent, and living plus a little extra for some nice clothes and accessories which is totally awesome.
What i do is i have a team of 3 people under me whom i assign matches for them to report on. They'd go to these matches and traders from the philippines will call them, whom with which they would then report the matches to. So every week i'd have to produce some invoices, pay my aides and update match tables in addition to going to some of these matches myself.
Which makes me a self employed manager cum architecture student (which is freaking awesome because), I belong to the income earning group now with a disposable income !
Its a liberating experience now that i dont have to skimp on food during them low financial tides (when i'd have to pullback on rent) and can now afford to eat a decent meal with a peace of mind everyday. Thinking of food reminds me of the muchines i used to have. Ah, unfortunately nowadays i've not been into the green stuff much which is definitely a pity. I'd have to remind myself to get some more during the holidays.
Apart from that, i've been busy with schoolwork as usual. But have decided to take an extended break chilling out at home on non school days and indulging in food and my inexhaustible anime/movie/manga/hentai/av collection. Afforded such luxury by the completion of midsemester dues, and a hardworking partner (not that i'am abusing him, i work as hard if not more as well : >).
Having said that, i'am compelled to digress and have a little discourse on that. In the past perhaps month and intensively during the past week, i've been watching some animes;
Ergo Proxy (23 eps)
Blood + (50 eps)
Trinity Blood (24 + eps)
Twelve Kingdoms (45 eps)
Full Metal Panic, second raid (13 eps)
Ghost in the Shell - Solid State Society, which is fucking awesome
... some movies;
Mothman Prophecies
Matrix Trilogy
The Prestige, which is a fucking awesome movie
Tim Burtons' The Nightmare Before Christmas, a favourite i've always wanted to watch and finally got to,
Visitor Q, Takashi Miike's weird Japanese movie.
the Da Vinci Code, boring, predictable and lame.
Bernado Bertuluccis' the Dreamers, staring Eva Green, lots of nudity : D
Stephen Chow's God of Cookery
The Protege, typical unrealistic and biased asian portrayal of drugs
Tokyo Trials
Election 1 and 2
Babel
Battle of Wits
After this our Exile, shitty
.. and a manga called Haru yo Koi and Jean Paul Sartres' existentialist manifesto Being and Nothingness, which i find rather dense and indecipherable compared to the other bunch of philosophy books i read.
I've also gotten Radiohead's OK computer and Hail to the Thief, albums that i used to own but have lost and that i now miss. Thom Yorke's new album called The Eraser is also quite good feauturing the track Analyze played during the closing credits in the Prestige.
.. and within my digressions i digress but again.
Two years ago, i would have thought that my psychological consumption of films and movies and 'stuff' in general was perhaps extensive. But now having lived in australia for the second year, it seems to me that instead of extensive, the word that would describe the programmings i take in is varied in the extreme sense of the word, and it seems to occur in realization to me that it is uncommon to the point of abnormality to watch something like the nightmare before christmas, visitor Q, the dreamers and then stephen chows god of cookery in succession. To be able to understand and then appreciate the genres and director's intention, namely tim burton, takashi miike, bertolucci and stephen chow is definitely something that springs to my mind now as an oddity that might not be necessarily an appreciable quality. Ideas that i have long since been exposed to and then subsequently cultivated as a child.
Now before i continue let me add the disclaimer that if you might want to start faulting me for what you would maybe perceive as an inflated sense of modesty and perhaps too much of a leaning on cultures, backgrounds, races and origins. Then i'd like to ambivalently add that people are different and that makes us unique and interesting. It is also natural and becoming of the diversity of the human race that creates what is strongest in us. This idea is distinct and antagonized by antiracism or anti-cultural bias, which directs us to believe that all people are all similiar regardless of their cultural leanings and backgrounds, and this downplays the uniqueness that is related with human conciousness itself. While this is a legitimate political movement. Most of the generation of our times have been deluded into believing that such a notion would apply on a social level. Sushi is sushi, we will make it out of rice instead of pasta. Ultimately the most ferocious anti racists, are in actuality racists themselves, and he who butchers monsters have turned into one himself, the abyss having gazed back.
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146Having digressed in my digression of digresses, let me continue with the digress of my digressions.
My fucked up multicultural leanings with my command of the east asian culture and language coupled with my strong base in the english language and understanding of the western philosophy in general has generated an unstable concoction of a personality - that composes and perhaps is ultimately detrimental - to my psyche. In a sense, i feel as though i've lost a purist understanding of the world and an in essence have been diluted by the ideas and thoughts of antagonizing cultures. As if man was not intended to have more than one tongue in the biblical babel sense. This confundment is distinguished from biculturalism where the two cultures a person is exposed to is dissociative - having a primary base for fundamental thought and essence and a secondary function for cross culture dealings. Graphically, this can be illustrated with two circles, both distinct and dissociated from one another - i.e not touching each other; perhaps one larger than the other and this would apply to a caucasian who speaks say Japanese and an asian who speaks english. Their secondary languages and by extension cultural exposures are additions ontop of their primary ones. A bowl stacked on a plate. Allegorialy in extension, i believe an australian or american born chinese or asian is but a person who adopts the cultural leanings of their host countries with the physical appearance of whatever genepool they are from, but with mental and psychological backgrounds of generally, caucasians perhaps but merely tinged with whatever is left. The negotiation and dialogue between the two circles might sometimes come to meet and perhaps even intersect to a slighter bit and amount. The conundrum comes when these circles have intersected to the point of eclipsing each another and the intersected area greatly overshadows the remaining bits resulting in a half a bowl immersed in half a plate, making the resulting object absurd. The purity of essence is lost and the result is an apparition of what would be its former purist self that is neither of its original beings.
Coming from somewhere like Brunei is also a source of such a confoundment. Having lived the formulative years of my life in this small idealistic place with an unrelated history and growing up in an environment with similar disporas like myself. and then subsequently superimposing east asian culture and western worldview culturally neutral place feels like a psychological lobotomy now that i reflect upon it.
So in terms of both Jus Sanguinis and Jus Solis. I am fucked. A further irony is that Thom Yorke's track 4 in his album The Eraser, is singing 'this is fucked up, fucked up' . Befitting indeed.
Perhaps this quote that i came across means something.
You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star. Friedrich Nietzsche
I should write a book someday in my life. Back to my carefree spiels about my indulgent and extended chilling out break from my usual hectic studies~!
It is 9am now on a Saturday morning. Gotta clean up my room which is currently reminiscent of some form of alien infestation from a ridley scott film, do the laundry and get some breakfast with a buddy from brunei.
After that, I'd be looking forward to getting some more Nietzsche books from Borders today, and maybe get myself a proper bag to keep my folders and whatnot as well as needing to do some stuff at the post office. Also the highlight of the day would be getting a new handphone since its been a year and abit since my contract started, and maybe some yummy japanese or cantonese food, and checking out some art galle.ries and museums.
I'd probably have to pick up the slack tomorrow for next week to make up for this weeks indulgence. Which is fine and dandy, i enjoy doing my work. I should probably get another bottle of Jack Daniels, those things are awesome to have everynight before you sleep.
Ooh yeah. Lifes good.
.
Made by Me and Nogy : D
3D models from secfive. The first part is called Fish, a structure with fin like facades/forms.
The second part is called Mono, a Monolithic structure inspired by half life2.
And here is the 1600 x 1200 resolution .pdf files. Feel free to drop me an email for further info.
part1
part2
.... and here is my own personal study guide to deciphering my incoherent ramblings.
part1
you know, neo took the red pillin the first episode.
after he took it, he just stays in the couch.
entire matrix reloaded and matrix revolutions happens
in the span when he took the red pill.
.
.
i have a good answer to that
the answer to that is.
.
allegory of platos cave
#%^@
i'am quite fucked tonight
(after quite a while)
ALRIGHT BETTER NOW
plato's cave
if every baby was forced to watch shadowplays
?!@!$%!@
!%%!@#?
.
anyways k, platos cave says that you trap men in a cave to watch shadowplays
cave, men, watch shadow play since birth
part2
one day man breaks freei'll call him neo
he sees the fire
and thinks that fire is an awesome device
[ in plato's republic, the allegory of the cave;
prisoners are bound to chairs with their heads held in place since birth to see a screen in which shadows are made from a fire on top to project shadows through items placed inbetween the screen and the fire;
this creates the shadows which the prisoners see all their life. and by extension, these prisoners would take the shadows they (only) see as the entirety of their version of reality. ]
[ if one of the prisoner was released and set free and given the ability to turn his head to witness the devices that creates the shadows and comes to accept that the entire reality of his life was false and of shadowplay ]
then we bring him out of the caveand let him see the sun, its blinding.
[ and then if he were subsequently brought out of the cave to experience the reality of the world as we know it, with the sun ontop and the soil below. allusions are then made with the fire in the cave and its relation to the screen and the sun in the world and its relation to the earth we live in. as both the fire and the sun are progenitors of all life and in extension reality as they experience it. ]
[ plato then connects this entire scenario with the crossing of the different levels of moral and intelletual perceptions as experienced between the ascendency from a lower to a higher form of intellectualization/morality. Plato then goes on and elaborate, using the cave as scenario that serves as a basis from which plato forwards his entire argument/dialetic; starting with the first claim that regardless of situation, we are ALL at some level - prisoners in a cave, subservient to shadowplay. this comes much later on in his long and deep philosophical discourse about how people of such stock are to be governed in an ideally egalitarian human society. ]
he goes back into the cave,wanna tell his friends about the wonders hes seen
but his friends do not believe him
and instead choose to
?X??!@#!~~@#$?
?!@#~
translation: persecute him for his different beliefs and opinions, think that he is insane
.
[ 'neo' having seen the 'real' world travels back to the cave, and is insistent to inform his kindred of the wonders and the 'reality' he has seen, but his kindred - the people having brought up on shadowplay - is obviously skeptical and resistant by conditioning, and are unable to believe him. 'neo' is then cast out of their social community and is ultimately unable to convince them of their ignorance. all of this predetermined. ]
psychoactivityhow are you doing about it ?
hows your pysch trip going
?
.
.
you interseted in the other trip ?
singapore pennang with my sisters
.
yea
a tour.
.
.
you can tag along
theres this big thing regarding the black (full) moon festival (in thailand)
then the singapore to penang trip just to let them know whats going on in these societies
.
.
alright, woo
then climb mount kk (kota kinabalu)
.
then maybe go to makati city (in manila, philippines)
then kl (kuala lumpur)
.
k, i'll load (show) you some stuff
who me ?
.
nah
cbf (cant be fucked)
Here's a design i came up with. I intended it to be a tattoo for my back. But apparently i liked it so much that i decided that it should be the logo for secfive.org as well. And maybe for my own company in the future - whatever i might be doing.
Its not complete yet, there are still some stuff that i want to tweak and play around with before i finally decide to let it be. Whats left to be done is some simple shading/hatching to the effect that it is as if is a building viewed from above with the sun inbetween it casting shadow effects and what not. And maybe some color adjustments and fills.
The motive behind this was that it was supposed to go behind on my back, perhaps even with the 'secfive.org since 1985'. I wonder what kind of publicity i would get if the media knew. mmmm....
Now that i think of it i do realize that the phrase 'since 1985' does not correctly reflect the age of the site, which currently is only a year and a month old. But I'd like to think of secfive.org as a part of the holy trinity of 'me'. Now for those less inclined with biblical mythology, let me rant on abit about the holy trinity. The holy trinity is a divine composition of 3 identities which is the holy spirit, jesus christ the son and his father, god. All these 3 identities exist as the one entity known as god, spelt with a capital g. Yes thats very correct, a Capital g.
Now i'd hate to imagine that you are feeling as though I am comparing myself to god. But let me reassure you that it is only but an analogy. I might have an egoistical view of my concious self - which given the context of the day and age and upbringing we live in and i went through - is justified, but that is another topic for another day.. Anyways, so there is the birthname loochernyang me, the online identity known as sec5 and there is his web known as secfive.org - all of which are manifestations of me. Especially so with secfive, since it is literally a collection of my thoughts and conciousness. Regardless of which side of 'me' you see. It is me nonetheless and regardless. Therefore with that in mind, the 'since 1985' tag is related to 'me' - the one being and entity collectively known as loochernyang, sec5 and secfive. Therefore what 'secfive.org since 1985' effectively translates to is that "I - the supreme being and controller of 'me' has been in existence since 1985"
Alright, now abit about the ideas behind this. I went through several designs and this was either the 3rd of 4th. Its not too clear in here, but there are 3 colours, obviously black and blue, but there are also purple coloured angular forms as well. The image is roughly split into two main areas, the obvious black bold lines which is concerned with the sun, and the faint purple and blue lines, which correlates with the causality of the sun.The core of the sign is a ceaseless sun with a good sense of symmetry in 2 axes, though it doesnt fully mirror in the x axis. There are 17 points of flame and this is a randomly generated number by virtue of the shape i was working with. I'am thinking to change it to a multiple of 7, 7 being related to sunday. The sun as a motif is an allusion to my first name which literally in chinese characters means the sun. Fire is also my element according to my fortune teller. In the centre there are 3 interlocking patterns, which invokes the strength, unity and timelessness of the sun. The outer black ring with offwardly set shark fins represents the aura and presenece of the sun which manifests itself in random and interesting ways, circles inscribed in the fins represents emptyness and fullness - duality being a consistent theme in the entire design. Finally the faint blue and purple lines represents the causality (not to be confused with casualty) of the sun. And its impact-result on the worlds around it - being a source of light that gives the ability to make sense of environments, being a source of food for plants without which earth would be barren. This is represented by a cross titled at 25 degrees - which is the rounded value of the tilt of earths axis and the 4 ends representing logic and rationality as well as the cardinal points of the earth, I might change this to make it resemble a plus sign ( + ) more. The purple angular shapes are a sharp contrast to the nice rectangular block shapes and serve as a form of counterbalance (in duality).
The shape induces the viewer to subconciously believe that the object is symmetrical and rational though complex. Indeed it looks like a very consistent and coherent pattern that can be easily dissected by a line through the center at certain angles, and we are tempted to try. However no line dissects the shape. And this is a form of duality, of both being and not being, of fullness and emptyness at the same time. A paradox which mimics life and nature. A state of falling and being stable. An actuality that borders between intelligence and divinity. And this appeals greatly to me, how something which appears to be either this or that but is actually neither or both. It eludes us ever so sublimely. Feels like playing poker with god. Mmm. god... (tempted to look in the mirror)
The object also looks like an architectural plan, which would look even more so when i add the shades. It also looks like looking at planets aligned together and we feel as though we see an entire chain of events and causality.
Mmmm. I love my logo.
I've been handling several odd jobs in january. Which is really good because otherwise i'd be totally clueluess and have nothing better to do in a period of time when i should be doing something. Mmm. Heres a simple summary of what i've been up to in the money making world.
Greenpeace
I was a Greenpeace frontliner for like 5 days. This job i did during the day. So in the day i would be campaigning for the wellbeing and welfare of creatures all big and small. But i had a disagreement with this seemingly innocent charity organization i was working for, either that, or they had a disagreement with me. Eitherways i quit afterwards. The work was just too tough and i wasnt ready for something so hardcore. Everyone in the team had like facial hair, were hulking huge people with the persona and build of a bouncer who have been roughed out by life and what not. Being a small statured asian in an environment of bikers is abit too awkward for me.
So what we roughly did was, we would set up a stall somewhere in a place where there would be alot of people, and then we would approach people and convince them that the environment is something worth caring and fighting for and that it was urgent to do something about it. After that, i would convince them to signup and chip in 25 dollars a month. Mmmm... and i get paid 16 dollars/hour. Interesting if you do the maths about how much we get paid from the support people are supposed to be giving into the environment. To be honest i felt like it was a bit of a con, but well whatever works.
A little more on this actually. What happens is greenpeace outsources their fundraising work to independent commercial companies like the ones i work for. So these serve as an intermediarie between the people and the charity. So the one whose running this is a commercial entity and not literally greenpeace themselves. _This_ company runs it by borrowing the name greenpeace from greenpeace. So greenpeace is still a good organization and charity nonetheless, and if you ever feel concerned about the environment - which you should be - greenpeace is still a good organization to go through : )
You also have to put up with alot of arses from the streets. Krishna devotees, jehovah witnesses, scientologists, norwegians, farmers, fishermen and firefighters. Who all seem to be interested in giving me a share of what they feel the environment should be as well as their own SOB life stories. Ask me in person and i'd tell you all about it : > I guarrentee : ( my vocab has been horrible recently) : it would be entertaining.
Soccer commentator for a betting company
And at night after i've been working for Greenpeace, i'd be the superstar vigilante wannabe and crawler of pubs where i would watch soccermatches and report the position of the ball to my employers in the Philippines, and for this i get paid about a hundred dollars a match. Quite lucrative if i may say so.
So yeah what i would do is get my self comfy inside a pub, get a nice cold beer to go with it, and have earphones over my phone and a dude will call me from the Philippines and i will tell him how the players are doing and the position of the ball and other miscelleneous (i can never spell this word) soccer information from which they would use to make intelligent and calculated bets with other companies. A rather shady work, but i earn my money legally and ethically and not under the premise of some charity and the environment, which is just a little bit too morally hypocritical for me.
I also get paid to watch live soccermatches from stadiums. I'll put a video of it someday : )
Essay writer
I write essays for those who cant be bothered writing it themselves or feel as though they would prefer someone whose language of instruction is english to write for them. I charge 10c/word, and i usually get either 600 worded essays or 3000 worded essays written for people who are not in the country or are not used to be in this country.
Its not easy work, but somehow i enjoy it.
Painter
I paint the walls for my university, and i get paid 25 dollars/hour for it. Onetime job.
Tradesman
I buy and sell all sorts of interesting things : )
American Express Promoter
This is apparently my next job after the greenpeace one. I'd be donning a suit and tie and trying to sell credit cards to rich 40 something men who already have enough credit cards, or credit card colelctors. I'am interested in seeing how this turns out.
Tada and thats it : )
My first attempt at working in the real world in the real world to raise funds to keep myself fed instead of having my parents to feed me.
So mummy and daddy, especially mummy, if your reading this. I hope you feel a certain sense of pride about what your son is doing and see the awesome messianic potential i have : P : P : P
One day, i'd be able to stop bullets like Neo. just you wait.
Heres what i talk about online when i'am totally out of it.
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Alright so heres waht i did for new years eve. This french-indian girl called Devika called me out to meet her at her place at 8pm. So i got off and got some JDs and chips, as well as B52 quickfuck shooters. Got over there. Met her english friend Max, and then we smoked some ciggies and had a chat about architecture and engineering over beers. After that we went down to check out the fireworks at 9.
And yea the usual stuff, fireworks over Central Pier next to Telstra dome, i'am sure the lovely girls must have loved the lovely vibrations. After the fireworks were done we were cruising the promenade with beer in hand. Max took videos of the firework and Dev talked to her security guard friends at the club known as Watergate. We had like B52 shooters and we were walking around.
And then OMFG, these two cops on a bike came over and they were totally playing out the good cop bad cop deal. So the male cop looks at us behind sharp Oakley sunglasses with tight puckered pissed off lips on a solid emotionless porcelain face whereas his female sidekick plays this 'hey dont fuck with my bro, he's completely robocop' character. The girl advises us to throw the beer bottles in the thrash immediately. I noticed here they use 'chuck' instead of 'throw' and the thrash can or the rubbish bin is colloquailly called 'the bin' so she goes 'chuck it in the bin right now' in a friendly manner with her partner staring at us with laser guided eyes.
Anyways after the drama, we went to a restaurant below her condo, and we were made to wait like 1 hour for the food. The waitress screwed up the bill and so i had to tell her that shes undercharging us 10 bucks. Good ol honest me. After that, we were made to wait an hour before food came and during then, we were all impatient and hungry and pissed off for being made to wait so long. So the lovely waitress who must have had lovely vibrations during the lovely fireworks comes and offers us free beer on the house. Which we cordially accept after which the food comes much to our satisfaction. This was also followed by some belly dancing action with a girl on wings and stuff like that i cant be bothered remembering. I had a corona and an asahi after that.
After that we went back up to the apartment for another round of beers with Dev rolling up this huggge joint that contains the most potent shit ever. We have that and i had to take the duty of showing to Max on behalf of me and dev how to properly smoke it which totally gets me rather fucked up. After that Max decides to go to the toilet and ends up hugging the floor. We move him into the living room and i chilled at the couch. After a while i went to the toilet for a puke fest. it was nuts, never eat too much on a night out : (
The story gets more puky..
After that i went back to the couch and Dev drags me outside for 'fresh air' and for the new years count down. Man this was the worst possible idea. All the lights and fireworks and people made my nausea go through the roof. And i started puking in like 2 or 3 other locations. When they finally finished the countdown and everyone was hugging everyone else and wishing everyone else a new year. I was like puking. Puky new year indeed. Poor Devika have to put up with me puking everywhere. Everything was like a puky purplish black haze with all sorts of colours and sounds jumbled together.
Glorious Synthaesia.
After that Devika got me a cab and i passed out in it giving vague directions to the cab driver to get myself home. I got home and everything was still spinning around and in and out. Took a nap and woke up at 4am. Sent and reply a few messages then i went back to sleep. And i had a massssive hangover after that. But it wasnt so bad seeing as to how all the alcohol ended up being puke instead of in my bloodstream.
Thanks to that, i miss out all my entire nights program which included clubbing and watching the sunset and going to the beach : (
So my advice to everyone is to never smoke a large joint after a large round of drinks or food if you still want to have some semblence of conciousness to go clubbing.
..and just for the record, I passed out after:
2 Jack Daniels with coke.
1 B-52 shooter
1 Corona
1 Asahi
1 large Hawaian pizza &
1 HUGE Joint
.. after recovering from my sorethroat.
at about 12.00AM January 1, 2007.
Kudos to Devika for helping me out and being there and getting me a cab for my Puky new year. I'am soooooo sorry i couldnt accompany you for the rest of the night. *takes a bow* i'll make it up to you some how : ) Also kudos to Max for being a great buddy and to everyone else who reads secfive.org and what not. I hope you enjoyed the first few hours of 2007 as wild as i did.
I wanted to make some cash during the summer holidays. But who would have thought that looking for jobs on your first try would prove to be so difficult. So far i've earned only 360AUD from two odd onetime jobs. I've yet seen a single cent of this money. So tentatively i'am still on zero earnings.
So I thought of making some cash through stock photography @ www.shutterstock.com . I got a Nikon D70 DSLR camera from the school and went trigger snapping around melbourne. But apparently this isnt working out too well because my photos do not meet the strict quality control regulations, i will try and get around them in time and see how it works out. I think its time for me to find out how those paypal donate buttons work. Quite frankly, my lifes not being very productive and i'am starting to feel the blues.
Here are the Photos that i took, all of them from Melbourne:
Antagonizing vanishing point lights and Exit.
Domed roman ceiling at the General Post Office (GPO)
Building Masonry upclose
Public steel statue and pipe services
Polluted tabula rasa, interesting name i came up with, but actually just some stone/glass interior art deco
Butterfly things on steel rods
This is its quality at 100% cropped
I am willing to sell all these compositions for a flat price of 50 AUD dollars to any one who is interested in buying. You will legally own it in full. I've got the legal forms : > These photos are all atleast 3.5 megapixels. For more details please contact me by email at sector5@gmail.com
I feel desperate and diminished : (
Recently, some Malay guy around 30 + years old offended me. Here is the story in the form of a complaint letter I have written and sent for the relevant parties. I have changed the names to protect this person.
To Whomever concerned,I write regarding a recent encounter with an RMIT staff member who is simultaneously also a student in RMIT doing his major in architecture. I also know that he teaches at foundation level in RMIT. I only know this person as “an arse” who is usually referred as “the Cow”.
Having met this person from the labs, i regarded him well as a senior in both age and education and respected the fact that he was an RMIT staff member. I treated him with respect and candour as anyone would expect from any new social encounter and helped him with some IT problems he encountered.
On the morning of 14th December, I met “the Cow” in the labs. He approached me and asked for my input on certain pdf settings and i helped him cordially. He then left to purchase materials and i met him again at about 9:30 in level 7, building 8. He asked if i could help him to mount his 5 A0 printouts on foamcore. I agreed and i spent the next one and a half hour doing this in the construction labs. Having completed the task, he suggested that I help him trim the foamcore edges off. I was reluctant but i decided to finish the job anyways. However he was being extremely difficult and picky and spent a long time on the first and second foamcore in what would otherwise be a simple and easy job. He asked for my input on the measurements and on cutting which I gave. I side commented this that was his work and i respect whatever decision he would decide on, i was just there to help him. Things were not working out with the foamcore he was handling and it was cut slightly off and this led to him becoming increasingly frustrated. Noting this, I told him at this point that I was hungry and would like to leave soon to have breakfast. He told me not to leave yet as he would be done in a while and offered to buy me breakfast. Seeing as to how desperate he was and entertaining the thought of free breakfast, i reluctantly agreed. This was when things took a turn for the worst and he then started rambling on how he has done this a dozen times, that he was good with it and what we should have done instead and what not. After his lengthy observations, i commented that it was because he was being picky and that it was usual for the cutting to be off by a few mm as mounting is not perfect.
Having said that, he snapped and asked for me to repeat what i said. Reluctantly i told him again what i felt, and at this point he started calling me immature and childish in a condescending, hurtful and spiteful tone among other things that i have forgot in the heat of disappointment with his display of such attitude.
Having felt thoroughly insulted and offended that my 2 hour worth of samaritan effort and labour ended without gratitude and instead with an insult to my character and integrity; I left saying that I was sorry he thought that way, and that he was being inconsiderate.
Reflecting back, it seems that I was naive to have been so readily helpful towards “the Cow”. But I would still like to hold the opinion that I would rather study and work in a positive environment with a jovial social atmosphere although this recent incident has severely cast doubts on that.
I am writing this as i felt that he had diminished my integrity and worth, as well as insulted my character and goodwill. I am shocked and perturbed by his actions and up till now, I still do not have a peace of mind over this incident; leaving me frustrated and disappointed first over myself for letting myself suffer such indignity and second over “the Cow”. The purpose of this letter is to ease my pain and suffering through expression and second to inform the relevant parties of this incident. To this end, i will send this letter to :
1. RMIT HE Design and Social Context,
2. RMIT DSC Foundation,
3. RMIT International Students Information and Support.I will respect RMIT's decision. I only wish to voice out.
Sincerely,
Yang.
First off i'd like to apologize for the things i am going to say. It is as acidic as it is sensitive in nature. I decided not to put it in my letter in light of how serious it would be if I did. But this is the main source of frustration I felt that spurred me to write this letter in the first place.
I realized this person only approached Malaysians and did not entertain other people of other cultures. He spoke in a condescending tone as polite as he was to the effect that it made me felt as though I had a social obligation to him due to an inherent class or race difference between us. Whether this racial nuance was self perceived or actually intended is a matter up to debate. But the intended class difference in his mentality was to me very obvious. It was as though I was being persecuted for my race and nationality. It is this arrogance instilled in him due to race and nationality that I find so disappointing and upsetting – more so from an educated man.
I’d hate to make another racist and secondly sexist remark; but it does seem to me that the average overseas Malay guy is extremely socially naive – as smart and competent as they maybe – resulting in a disconnection from the rest of the social communities around. I say this with a background of being Malaysian and having grown up in a Muslim monarchy state. I respect them, but to ignore the fact that in general they are introverted with regards to other cultures and ways of life is not the mark of an educated man but that of a bigot regardless of how noble your intentions maybe.
It does seem inviting to think that their mentality is buoyed by the idea that they are too seriously and religiously absorbed; and that they denounce other cultures and religions and am inherently upset that they have to put up with it.
I do, however, find Malay girls very polite, intelligent and becoming of themselves. Perhaps this is because in their culture, it is oriented such that the roles the females play are submissive in nature whereas the males play a dominative role although I am neither fit nor interested to comment on this sensitive issue.
Regardless of whatever cultural or social idiosyncrasies they practice, this is Australia and I refuse to be subject to Malaysian conditioning of which I am not a part of. I am myself. For any one person or social denomination to identify themselves so strongly with their nationality, religion or race is not only racist and discriminatory in nature, but it is the stuff of Nazi Germany, Maoist China or Muslim terrorists. It is arrogance in its purest form and I denounce it.
I’d like to add that I respect these cultures but If they were to impose them on me for the fact that I hold a Malaysian passport, I would most definitely rebel and resist for it trespasses on my essence of being. It insults my very existence and I will have none of it.
People need to be able to see and accept their own failings; and in the process shed off such mindless prejudices as race, nationality and religion, if they were to seriously intend to advance themselves as either a society or as an individual.
This is what I did in the past 15 hours. Modelling a house for school work.
... and i really like this one. mmmm~
... and heres a .pdf file for you to look at it in detail
I've created a few more 3D models. I wanted to create a tentacle monster thing. But i ended up making this instead :(
Mmm, Perhaps I should stop spamming secfive with my 3D models..
I've been making more 3D stuff lately. Its fun.
I call this DAD-01 (Destroy All Dodgies). It tracks and hunts down all dodgy people, starting with the asshole who stole my bike. Oh yes, my bike got stolen last sunday :(
:(
:(
Dear all, i've been busy, so i apologize for not posting anything at all last month.
As you all might or might not have known, I am an architecture student. And this semester i've been tasked with designing something iconic for central pier in docklands, Melbourne. This is of course just a school studio task, not as if it would actually be built. But i'd like to think that it is the thought that counts.
So this thing i'am designing is a technology center and I start out sketching rough things in my A5 visual diary after that i draw them up in 2D in Autocad like so;
And then i export them into rhinoceros and make them 3D
After that, i create a perspectival view of it, and then i present it to my eccentric tutor.
I'd like to elaborate more but i'am afraid this is as long as the post will get.
So Dear Daddy and Mommy, and my beloved Sisters and my benefactors. Know that your brother/son/relative/friend is doing good and well in Australia (and continue to send him money). Know that he is not doing dodgy stuff (*guilt* guilt*) and that he is working hard.
Gyah, that is all.
Love and Peace.
Mmmm, i guess an architecture students life really doesnt amount to much. We're too philosophical for our own good and we muse about life too much instead of actually living and enjoying it. Hopeless romantics. Perhaps that is the price to pay for clairvoyancy. I'd like to talk about the semester and everything but it just occurs to me that education isnt perhaps as interesting a topic as it rightfully should be. Torn between the rifts of the reason and feeling, we live in an unreasonable world filled with unreasonable things. All life and humanity can perhaps only amount to so little.
I must say this month has been particularly unfortunate for me. I've lost alot of things. My keys, my ipod and perhaps some friends who are going back or dropping out. And to replace them, we are paired with senior students in other new lower pool design studios, while it is exciting to meet these new people, i deplore about how easily people are replaced in our lives by simple necessity. Fate, also alternatively spelled as god (according to your relative denominations) indeed has little sympathy for human emotions (as it shuffles it about with reckless abandon) and this brings me to marvel at the conception of human empathy. If people place so much importance on it then why does it only amount to so little in our own lives on both an individualistic and a collectivistic level.
Let me tell you why; humans are selfish and arrogant thats why.
We've grown with consumerism to choose people and friends like the way we choose our clothes and accessories. We choose to live in higher human density areas not to enjoy the company of other men, but to gain greater access to a wider range of goods and services. When we compare of towns and metropolitan cities, the image that comes up is the glitz and modernity that the cities provide instead of human company and indeed perhaps humanity is reduced to only what we see on the various medias, and our own choice of personal friends. People are expendable and dispensable. Thus all humanity only amounts to so little.
God or fate, if he has the ability to think and ponder the way we do, is cruel to blow conciousness that is denotative of the human spirit into the lifeless vessels that we truly are
.
Perhaps this really is purgatory;
Mindless men and women working about their lives trying to find meaning and purpose in their lives while always being subjected to the fate that they they will never understand the purposes of life beyond their flesh and conciousness, like rain drops plitter plattering on the bottomless ocean surface and voiceless fishes in the sea never knowing a different world above, we are all oblivious to our roles in life, pawns to a higher divinity. We try to find meaning to it all and yet the reality is that there really is no meaning or purpose to human conciousness as it relates to our being.
The semester has ended for me, and now i have to pay my second semester tuition fees by the end of this month.
But first a run through of whats been happening with your favourite sector.
Its been a whopping 20 days of absence. The longest period of absence ever in secfive.org's history. This correlates with my end of semester activities which has been challenging and work-filled. I dont like to call it stress because stress to me is something that is undesirable, negative and well just bad really. My studies are definitely not undesirable, negative or bad in anyway. So stress is abit of an overkill word to use. But eitherway, i've been surviving on lots and lots of V which is this little energy drink down here.
Drinking as much as 1 litre a day of this green thing. Digressing from the point, i notice alot of green things are good in life, V, weed, nature, the US dollar. But anyways, 1 litre might sound like its alot, but infact its just 2 glass bottles of the 500ml varieties that you see in the image above. Also because of the long work hours and my weird sleeping habits, i've begun to use the stopwatch function on my handphone to clock my hours awake, so i can tell myself whether my body needs sleep or not as the mind is fleeting. My sleep cycles are usually like this during projects; being awake on caffeine for 24 to 30 hours and then taking a 10 to 12 hour sleep before repeating the cycle. On not so busy days, i'll just have my usual 15 hour awake and 8 to 10 hour sleep cycles. These cycles do not follow the pattern of the days, so i can very well wake up at 3am or 3pm, 10pm or 10am. Time is independant of day cycles afterall. I dont see why everyone needs to live a 8am awake, 9pm sleep cycle. Convention as i have deplored many times, is nonsensical.
And i use all this time and energy (from energy drinks no less, \o/) , to work on my architectural projects which has included much more drawings now (made with my 30 dollar drafting pens and 60cm rulers), and much less graphics and pictures. Perhaps when i have enough free time or enough ego one day, i'll update all my new drawings and projects into my online portfolio, of which i have also made an A1 and A3 version for coursesubmission. Working with A1 stock paper, i must say, is a very expensive and cumbersome process.
Ah, money... the quintessential basic unit of anything good in the human society. I know conversely, the cliche claim is that money cant buy happiness and love and whatever. But that is just too idealistic for the average 20 something. Money IS happiness right now. Money is to me, the opportunity to have an education that i knowingly deserve. Money is to me, the freedom to experience life in the fullest. Although arguably, i'd say the lack of money and the subsequent persuit of it also results in a full life. But more money is always better than a lack of money. There is the question of having enough money, and more than enough. But when you simply dont have enough of it, the ends in life just dont meet very well.
But, the keen reader may ask; 'What makes you different from the rest of the billions of people on earth who too are lamenting on their objectable financial situations', and my answer would be; What is different for me, is that it is a matter of what people deserve, for their competency and ability. Those competent enough to be leaders, innovators and instruments of positive change in the human society, should therefore accordedly be given the basic opportunities to archieve their potential, regardless of their financial background, race or other superficialities.
So, therefore I complain about the lack of meritocracy in our world and societies, more than my own state of being.
Just because the world is not meritocratic, and is what it is ; it does not justify itself against what the world could be or possibly be. Accepting the shitty conditions of our present state is an excuse to not improve upon the world. It is accepting what has been given as status quo, and is not representative of the innate human nature of which we belong to. Understandbly it is human to want change, to hope for the better and to improve upon what is given. Seeing as to how we merely accept the status quo and conventions of the day, may we have lost that important human characteristic in persuit of the perfect society that we have been attempting to create ?
Which brings me back to my semester fee payments. If i dont pay my university AUD 10k by 31st of June, I very well might be packing my bags home by July, which is lamentable, having completed only 1/6th of my Degree in Design and 1/10th of my Degree in Architecture on my 'great journey' to make something out of my 3rd decade in life.
My mother seems to have dispossessed me as son and is refusing to pay my school fees, for her own very selfish reasons about the family situation with my dad. My dad seems to be in a financial bind and has not been very forthcoming about the fees. I've always had the impression that my education is not very important to him seeing as to how he started his own business without a degree from humble beginnings. Regardless, i've had less than stellar parents and have not come from a happy and conducive family background. I dont want to blame them, but fate is cruel to have given me a broken family and a damning conciousness of it. It would have been easier to accept if i was brought up a tad bit more stupid and a tad bit less intelligent and concious of my circumstances. No child or person wants to live knowing that he is the product of an unhappy marriage. It corrupts the sanctity of marriage and of family, all this hate, loathing and vengeance my mother has. But this is another topic, and not for today.
Eitherway, I Accept the challenges of life that Fate (or god if you will) has given me and i endeavor to triumph as has my predecessors. Human history is a list of victories of men against men and men against nature. If this bit of idealism will help me survive my hardships then so be it.
And to that end, i introduce to you, secfive's prayer for a happy future and life;
May we all live in a self induced state of faith to our own particular social constructs such that we may advance ourselves in the persuit of learning and simply being what we are and what we could be. Amen
I recall reading a Times article on ecstasy 1 to 2 years ago. The story invovled a 20 something relating her first time experience of ecstasy. She related to the journalist how ecstasy induced in her a state of mind that made her cross examine her life and her relationships with her family. This subsequently led to her appreciating and valuing life so much so that she grew out of her troubled teenage life and made changes for the better.
The objective and honest examinations of news magazines such as Times and Newsweek highlights the true value of journalism in our society. It is an objective, organized relation of factual phenomenon as observed
